Thursday, July 14, 2011

A Time for Testimony.

I was priviledged enough to grow up in a Christian home, having parents with a deep passion for the Lord. Thanks to them, I came to know about the Lord at a very young age, and chose to accept Jesus into my life even before the age of 7. In my early years, I truly had a solid understanding of what it means to have "faith like a child. At the time it seemed unfathomable and completely unnatural to not believe in the Lord.

Today, being older, I can understand that my undying faith and trust at that stage may have largely been based on the fact that I was young and innocent. But my memory of how I looked completely lovingly and trustingly at my "Daddy" is something that I can only aspire to do now. The faith that I had as a child is the closest thing that I can imagine to what it will be like in heaven. 

I owe a lot to my parents. Without the solid grounding in faith that they gave me I would not have the faith I have today and I will always be grateful for this.

Up until the time I was 11, my family and I were attending a church nearby to where we stay. Unfortunately, as in many churches, political issues forced the church to split. There were a lot of political issues and the church eventually split. As a family, we went with the minister to a church that he planted but the split had. This caused some pain amongst the congregation and despite remaining spiritual, my family eventually stopped attending church.

At this stage I was 13 and although being Christian and having immense faith as a child, I did not really have a mature understanding of what it means to live out a life as a Christian. I went to church simply because my family had and I followed them and stopped attending too. 

Through my teenage years, we faced some really rough times as a family. It was a time when I was learning who I was and growing up. I made my own fair share or bad decisions including a bad relationship

In truth, I had turned my back on God. Its hard to explain what I was feeling spiritually at that point but a part of me wrongly believed that God - , knowing all my thoughts and choices - could not possibly want or love me. I truly feel that the lack of a relationship with God in those years had put a moderate sized hole into my heart that I was unsuccessfully trying to fill with external things. 

When I got out of my long term relationship at the time, I was quite bitter and miserable. It had been a bad breakup and it forced me to confront this hole that I was feeling. I could not explain it... I had everything that seemed important: - a family that, despite having gone through rough times, loved me immensely; good grades that would allow me to continue in my dream to be a vet and good friends. I still somehow felt like I was missing something..
I was 18 when I hit that realisation, and made the choice to try find religion in my life. I was not sure at the time if looking for God would help, but I felt I needed to try anyway.

I attended church with a friend of mine and they were playing Casting Crowns' "Who am I?". As I was listening to the words I prayed that if God- who knew every bad choice and every bad thought, and who I could offer nothing to- wanted me as I was, that He would come into my life and fill the emptiness that I felt.

I didn't hear any heavenly voice booming from the sky. No white doves or ringing bells. What I receive was an overwhelming sense of God's love and acceptance. It was my own "Prodigal Son" -or daughter in my case- story.

I can't tell you that since then, I've had unwavering faith or that the world always makes sense and I have every answer. I can't tell you that since then my spiritual walk has been free from bumps or rocks. What I can tell you is that I know with all my heart that nomatter how far off His path I may feel or how many mistakes I feel that I have made, God truly is waiting right behind me with arms wide open. He's simply waiting for me to turn around and let Him welcome you home. 

I pray that in sharing this story, God can use me for His good. If not, then I know I can use it to simply remind myself of His constant, undying love for me and for all of His children.  


  1. You bring up many points and feelings that so many as Christians have. One of our favorite verses that deals with this is;

    Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

    Sheila & Bob

  2. I so love to hear the testimonies of God's children. He told us to share them. It gives Him glory when we tell others how He fills the void in our heart. Thank you for sharing your great God story. He has so much for you still to do I'm sure.