God has given me many blessings in life.
Big, small, sometimes confusing but nevertheless abundant.
Like studying to become a veterinarian...
And as with most blessings, this one has come with intense hardships that have left myself (like many other vets and vet students before me) with a rather quirky sense of humour.
So this is for anyone that has ever called "Die Republiek van Onderstepoort" (i.e. vet school) home.
If you are or have known a vet student/vet nurse/vet, I hope this will make you smile...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE AT OP WHEN:
2) "Class" involves taking semen from an 800kg bull that is intent on killing you.
3) You know all too well what you use a long rubber glove for.
4) Pigs, cows, sheep, beagles and horses are part of the scenery on your walk to class.
5) All your friends are graduating and getting married while you still have 4 more years of varsity.
6) You've lost count of the number of times people have asked you, "So... Why didn't you become a REAL doctor?"
7) You own a shirt mocking said people. :P
8) Dodging cow and horse patties is a normal activity whilst walking to class.
9) Someone is walking a llama and no one finds that strange.
10) ICU shifts involve taking a dog out to poop...at 1am.
11) "Drugs" is a module and not a bad lifestyle choice..
12) You take modules that have course codes that begin in 5, 6 and 7.
13) Peak hour traffick involves fork haylifts, unicycles and stampeding cows.
14) To be called Prof, you would have to be at least 37 years old.
15) You are expected to be use the terms "ejaculation", "vagina" and "coitus" in
conversation with your lecturers during an exam.
16) You spent 3rd year in constant fear of being locked in the "fridge".
17) Your neighbours are cows.
18) Party themes include "G.I. Joes and Barbie Hoes"
19) Guys come to the party dressed up as the barbie.
20) Girls rugby is a sport that gets more spectators than a normal match.
21) Walking into a class and looking for the male students is like an akward,
real live game of "Where's Wally?"
22) You see someone singing "Staying Alive" to keep time whilst giving CPR.
23) The smell of formalin, 3 day old rumen contents and recently deceased animals no longer brings tears to your eyes.
24) There are sign up sheets in class to be models for a nude calender... for you AND your pet.
25) You can say "Truncus Vagosympathicus et Accesorius" without a flinch.
26) You have mastered the lethal art of drawing blood from a cat.
27) You have spent seasons of your life not eating custard, porridge, and cottage cheese thanks to references from path class.
28)You can name the nerves in your friday night KFC.
29) Dinner time conversation includes the topics of rectal palpation.
30) You know the going ons of res and campus through the very informative "LooNews"
31) You think that green overalls and gumboots is a good fashion choice.
32)Your friends and family seem to have an overwhelming urge to share with you their concern for "Fluffy's" abnormal excreta.
33) You responded to those concerns by asking them to describe the colour, smell and consistency of said excreta.
34) Sleep is an optional extra- if you have the time.
35) This post has left you with a familiar smile.
Thanks to all the friends, colleagues and family that have shared the unique adventure that is Vet School with me. Here's to three more years of blood, sweat, tears and other unmentionable body fluids...
ps. never shake a vets hand... I know where it has been...