I Will Wait...

 

 

 

I have always wanted to be a wife and a mom.

I remember the times when I used to play "Wedding" at my grandmother's house, donning a fly netting as a veil and prancing up and down the aisle that was her driveway.

 

Up until August last year, I thought I had it all figured out.

I knew what the dress would look like and what the wedding colours would be and even who (I thought) would be standing next to me at the altar.

I wanted this fairytale more than I wanted a relationship with God and so, in love, I think He did what needed to happen.

For my own good He took my relationship away from me...

 

It was my idol, and since the end of that phase of my life, God has been teaching me to challenge my idols and rely on Him, allowing me to learn what it means to be completely fulfilled and at peace.

It has not been an easy road, but it has been a good one...

 

Below is a poem that I wrote as my "declaration of obedience" at a recent Easter Camp, and it is something that I have to remind myself of day after day.

 

If you are struggling with singleness (as I often do), know that God is walking it with you and that He loves you and desires the best for you.

I hope that sharing this helps you as it has helped me...

I WILL WAIT...

I know not your name,

Nor the colour of your hair.

I don't know your likes, your dislikes,

or the things about which you care.

 

But tonight I spoke to God,

And I said a prayer for you.

I asked Him to give you strength and courage,

And faith in the things that He says are true.

 

If, and when, we are connected,

It will be only by God's ultimate plan and design.

I give my hopes and dreams to Him,

for our two paths to become one line.

 

But I want you to know that I am considering you,

with any man I may court now.

I will respect him and treat him as a brother,

knowing that unless he is you, to someone else he may one day vow.

 

I will use my singleness to glorify God,

And rely on Him in all that I do;

Allowing Him to ever mould me into the one that you need and deserve.

I give myself to Him, in waiting for you.

 

One day, if we are connected;

I will be ready to be at your side;

Having spent this time learning grace, dignity and a serving heart;

So that in God our relationship may abide.

 

Today I vow to reserve,

My heart and my body for you.

For as I stand at our future wedding,

Christ's bride will become yours too.

 

I know not whether you even exist,

but as I long and hope that you do;

Please note that you will have to ask God for my heart,

For in Him, I shall wait for you.

 

Robyn Moll

(31 March 2013)

You know you are at OP when..

God has given me many blessings in life.

Big, small, sometimes confusing but nevertheless abundant.

Like studying to become a veterinarian...

And as with most blessings, this one has come with intense hardships that have left myself (like many other vets and vet students before me) with a rather quirky sense of humour.

So this is for anyone that has ever called "Die Republiek van Onderstepoort" (i.e. vet school) home.

If you are or have known a vet student/vet nurse/vet, I hope this will make you smile...

 

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE AT OP WHEN:

 

1) The average age of the student population is 24.

2) "Class" involves taking semen from an 800kg bull that is intent on killing you.

3) You know all too well what you use a long rubber glove for.

4) Pigs, cows, sheep, beagles and horses are part of the scenery on your walk to class.

5) All your friends are graduating and getting married while you still have 4 more years of varsity.

6) You've lost count of the number of times people have asked you, "So... Why didn't you become a REAL doctor?"

7) You own a shirt mocking said people. :P

8) Dodging cow and horse patties is a normal activity whilst walking to class.

9) Someone is walking a llama and no one finds that strange.

10) ICU shifts involve taking a dog out to poop...at 1am.

11) "Drugs" is a module and not a bad lifestyle choice..

12) You take modules that have course codes that begin in 5, 6 and 7.

13) Peak hour traffick involves fork haylifts, unicycles and stampeding cows.

14) To be called Prof, you would have to be at least 37 years old.

15) You are expected to be use the terms "ejaculation", "vagina" and "coitus" in
conversation with your lecturers during an exam.

16) You spent 3rd year in constant fear of being locked in the "fridge".

17) Your neighbours are cows.

18) Party themes include "G.I. Joes and Barbie Hoes"

19) Guys come to the party dressed up as the barbie.

20) Girls rugby is a sport that gets more spectators than a normal match.

21) Walking into a class and looking for the male students is like an akward,
real live game of "Where's Wally?"

22) You see someone singing "Staying Alive" to keep time whilst giving CPR.

23) The smell of formalin, 3 day old rumen contents and recently deceased animals no longer brings tears to your eyes.

24) There are sign up sheets in class to be models for a nude calender... for you AND your pet.

25) You can say "Truncus Vagosympathicus et Accesorius" without a flinch.

26) You have mastered the lethal art of drawing blood from a cat.

27) You have spent seasons of your life not eating custard, porridge, and cottage cheese thanks to references from path class.

28)You can name the nerves in your friday night KFC.

29) Dinner time conversation includes the topics of rectal palpation.

30) You know the going ons of res and campus through the very informative "LooNews"

31) You think that green overalls and gumboots is a good fashion choice.

32)Your friends and family seem to have an overwhelming urge to share with you their concern for "Fluffy's" abnormal excreta.

33) You responded to those concerns by asking them to describe the colour, smell and consistency of said excreta.

34) Sleep is an optional extra- if you have the time.

35) This post has left you with a familiar smile.

Thanks to all the friends, colleagues and family that have shared the unique adventure that is Vet School with me. Here's to three more years of blood, sweat, tears and other unmentionable body fluids...

ps. never shake a vets hand... I know where it has been...

For an incredibly special and brave family...

*I would like to dedicate this post to the Weinerlein family that is fighting a hard and difficult battle.

It may be a tad random and I do not understand the weight of your battle nor attempt to trivialise it in any way but my heart was with you as I wrote this and I wanted to dedicate this post to you.

I hope that you can find the purpose in your battle and that you may enjoy the humour in mine...*

 

 

 

Anyone who has ever received some form of education for any length of time will know the awful time of having to write the dreaded end of year exams. Now for us strange folk that hail from "Die Republiek van Onderstepoort"(i.e. vet school), end of year exams occur from early September till mid-October. I don't know if this is as a result of them drilling us so hard through the year that they know we would never really make it till December (certainly feels that way!) or if it is because our lecturers enjoy having their own lives and own vet practices to spend their year end focussing on, but either way this system has left me bogged down under the books for the past 4 weeks.

 

Needless to say, I have spent much of that time getting way too little sleep, eating far too much junk food and living in a room that is spectacularly clean due to the very real fact that scrubbing floors becomes a very useful form of procrastination when the books start to call.

 

It has been an incredibly up and down time for me emotionally too, as this years exams have been the hardest set of exams I have ever written. The length of time over which we write (6 weeks in total), combined with the sheer volume of work that each of my 10 modules present has transformed the past 4 weeks of my life into a series of desperate cramming/praying sessions as I am forced to face what feels to be an enormous sense of inadequacy.   

 

As every exam approaches and as every exam is written and "conquered" (with varying prospects of actually passing it) I have been forced to rely more and more not on my own sense of ability but rather on the infinite power that I can draw from God. It is absolutely amazing how much our faith can be increased in our times of desperation and apparant helplessness.

 

Now the concept of writing an exam to some may not seem all that challenging or warranting of the desperate scenario in which I have just described...

I, however, would challenge those individuals to be the one sitting the oral exam in which an external examiner is asking you to name (in latin) all the plant species that serve as differential diagnostic causes of blindness in cattle.

And of course, it is in that precise moment that your mind, after days of non-stop studying, chooses to conjure nothing more than pretty images of butterflies and fairies. 

 

We each have our own battles (and I am really not undermining yours), but this is one of my particular brands...

 

But nevertheless, God is faithful.

I have made it out of those said exams, in a cold sweat and a cloak of relief, with some prospect of passing and I have made it out of others with a certainty of failing and the hope of a supplementary exam.

All the while though, I know that God remains faithfull and near my side.

 

Life can be full of tough questions that feel like they have no answers and it can be full of the challenges in life that feel that can't be faced alone.

I can't tell you why that person you love got sick. I can't tell my friends in vet school why their best may turn out to not be good enough to get them through after 4 years and more money than they had to give to this dream.

And I can't tell you why my beautiful twelve and ten year old cousins (despite knowing that God loves them more than my human mind can comprehend) could be left with a disease that prevents them from being able to move their joints without being in almost unbearable pain. Nor why their parents should stand by, helpless, when I'm sure they would gladly carry the infliction on themselves if it meant that it could spare their children.. 

 

What I can tell you is that these situations don't feel like they are meant to be endured alone.

Because they aren't. And because you arent..

Regardless of your battle, God is with you.

And he loves you.

 

For me, sitting in a room with 2 lecturers and a series of impossible questions may seem scary. Untill I remember that there is someone else in that room who loves me enough to make it be ok, regardless of the outcome...

 The same someone who sits in the hospital room with you. The same someone who is right next to you, listening to you desperately pray out the big questions in life, the ones that seem to have no answer.

 

When I have been stressed for an exam, I take the time afterwards to go and walk a dog. Utterly random, I know, but as I walk this cute little beagle and as I watch her sniff out all the smells and interact with the variety of animals we have on campus, I always feel that God opens my eyes to the bigger purpose in my life.

For me, I know that God has called me to be a steward of the things of this life that reflect His glory.

And maybe He wants me to do that through being a vet. Maybe He doesn't. But despite the outcome of the exam or the battle, He is with me and He has a purpose. And watching the peace of animals helps me to see that.

 

He has a purpose for your life. He is with you through your struggles. And regarldess of the outcome of each little batlle, take the time to remind yourself of that.

 

Much love...

Robyn